Adjoaskinner’s Weblog

How I love thee

Let me count the ways

How quickly goes the hours

How long may seem the days

O sweet procrastination

how you keep me from my task

How you deny the question

“Been up to what? you ask?

Beautiful and lazy

you distract me from my work

Comforted by others

who say this with a smirk

O sweet procrastination

we salute you and your friends

I’m busy with so much it seems

and nothing shows @ end

but boy do I feel better

and man do I feel bad

But chalk it up to knowing

you’re the best I ever had.

Ryszard Kapuscinski Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.
John Paul Jones The general who is able to persuade his forces that there is victory, even where there seems to be defeat, is one who will inspire them to fight against apparently impossible odds. They will, indeed, never suffer defeat, but will fight on until annihilate
Gerard Hargraves Did is a word of achievement Won’t is a word of defeat Might is a word of bereavement Can’t is a word of defeat Ought is a word of duty Try is a word each hour Will is a word of beauty Can is a word of power.
Josephus Daniels Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
George Eliot There are many victories worse than a defeat.
Wendell Phillips What is defeat Nothing but education nothing but the first step to something better.
Unknown Nothing can cause turmoil and the defeat of accomplishment as quickly as disorganization.
Ernest Hemingway But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
Rabindranath Tagore The mountain remains unmoved at seeming defeat by the mist.
Napolean Hill You don’t have to fear defeat if you believe it may reveal powers that you didn’t know you possessed.
George E. Woodberry Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
Robert South Defeat should never be a source of discouragement, but rather a fresh stimulus.
Sallust A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means.
Mahatma Gandhi Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary.
Steven Wright I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
John Bay Noble souls, through dust and heat, rise from disaster and defeat the stronger.
Sir Edmund Hillary You defeated me But you won’t defeat me again Because you have grown all you can grow…. but I am still growing (about Mount Everest)
George Lois Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by orginality, overcomes everything.
Douglas MacArthur Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Katherine Anne Porter Defeat in this world is no disgrace if you fought well and fought for the right thing.
Pan Ku If you must choose between two paths, either of which will bring death and defeat, then choose the path wherein you die fighting for honor and justice.
Walter Lippmann Modern men are afraid of the past. It is a record of human achievement, but its other face is human defeat.
Kristen Ashley Roth Hate is not a feeling toward another, but a feeling of defeat by another.
Martin Luther King, Jr. The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense
Ann Landers If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity, it would be this Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and say, I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.
Ben Stein It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated…it is finished when it surrenders.
Ashley Montague The deepest human defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.
William Orville Douglas Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.
Christy Mathewson You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.
Martin Luther King, Jr. The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility.
Theodore Roosevelt Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
General Douglas MacArthur A Prayer For My Son Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory???Give him humility, s
Denis Watley Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
Edna Ferber Life can’t ever really defeat a writer who is in love with writing, for life itself is a writer’s lover until death–fascinating, cruel, lavish, warm, cold, treacherous constant.
Gerald R. Ford A coalition of groups … is waging a massive propaganda campaign against the president of the United States. … an all-out attack. Their aim is total victory for themselves and total defeat for him. (On Watergate crisis)
G. Gordon Liddy They were afraid, never having learned what I taught myself: Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear.
Orson Scott Card In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him.
Arab Proverb An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.
Dag Hammarskjold The pursuit of peace and progress cannot end in a few years in either victory or defeat. The pursuit of peace and progress, with its trials and its errors, its successes and its setbacks, can never be relaxed and never abandoned.
Henry Miller Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause who at best, if he wins, knows the thrills of high achievement, and, if he fails, at least fails daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause who at best, knows the triumph of high achievement and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt It is not the critic that counts not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or the doer of deeds could have them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the Arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming but he who does actually strive to do the deed who knows the great devotion who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls, who know neither victory nor defeat.
To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
When something (an affliction) happens to you, you either let it defeat you, or you defeat it.
I never seek to defeat the man I am fighting, I seek to defeat his confidence. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. Two men are equals – true equals – only when they both have equal confidence.
What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better.
He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.
Tyranny cannot defeat the power of ideas.
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
When defeat is inevitable, it is wisest to yield.
Victory has a thousand fathers; defeat is an orphan.
Many things are worse than defeat,and compromise with evil is one of them.
Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step.
Divorce is defeat…It’s an adult failure. Lucille Ball
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
Once we have a war there is only one thing to do. It must be won. For defeat brings worse things than any that can ever happen in war.
To save a Life in defeat, is to receive Victory and Honor.
There is only one way to defeat the enemy, and that is to write as well as one can. The best argument is an undeniably good book.
Exile, for no other motive than ease, would be the last defeat, with no seed of future victory in it.
Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything.
The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someda
Even against the greatest of odds, there is something in the human spirit- a magic blend of skill, faith, and valor- that can lift men from certain defeat to incredible victory.
When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.
“Once again, truth and American technology defeat Satan!”
Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.
Far better is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
Some forms of reality are so horrible we refuse to face them, unless we are trapped into it by comedy. To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat.
“Life is the one enemy we cannot defeat.” — LaCroix
“We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat.” -Victoria
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nas
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in eve
Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.
Free men cannot start a war, but once it is started, they can fight on in defeat. Herd men, followers of a leader, cannot do that, and so it is always the herd men who win battles and the free men who win wars.
Like President Reagan, President Bush has not shied from calling evil by its name or declaring his intention to defeat its latest incarnation, terrorism, just as free men and women of all political persuasions, here and abroad, defeated fascism and commun
“Who else will defeat us if not ourselves?” -C. Brunetti
Death is the enemy. I spent 10 years of my life singlemindedly studying, practicing, fighting hand to hand in close quarters to defeat the enemy, to send him back bloodied and humble and I am not going to roll over and surrender.

poem based on Erwin McManus’ Easter service – Hollywood 9pm

April 12th, 2009

The commandments are the minimum the basic things to do.

But we find the Beatitudes refresh us toward the new.

Blessed are those who trials make them different and strong,

Blessed are the persecuted, who know they don’t belong.

Whose eyes are fixed on heaven, but whose feet are here on earth,

Who are living different, and call it their re-birth.

When they are so reminded, that they’re human and they break

But blessed are they that give out love, and never love forsake.

Despite the harsh realities, despite their past mistakes,

Blessings are for everyone whose hardships they can’t shake.

Poor in spirit, rich in love, they’re gifted outside fear

Of what the world may give them and what trials may come near.

What  makes it difficult for them is finding sense within

the tainted and strange history that they have since been given.

Blessed are they who are the persecuted for no wrong.

Who time again will give out love but sing a Martyr’s song.

This is not the strong and mighty, this is not the proud

this is not the one who speaks their righteousness out loud.

These are  the lives that speak in rhythms of the beating heart

who understand their purpose and so live a work a art.

Overcoming obstacles that drag them to the ground.

Looking at the hope within this good thing that they’ve found.

Blessed are they who know the answers come when they first trust,

within a God who loves them, and so trust this God they must.

The world will never hold a flame to all the grace He shows

The door outside the tomb was sealed but opened when He rose.

- Adjoa Skinner

Easter Sunday

I broke a glass today

I really didn’t want to

Its just I had so much to do

so busy I stopped thinking

Disregarding time

My mind was in another place

while I was on a foolish chase

so busy I stopped thinking

Rented home, not much to own

Now one glass gone

What went wrong?

I was so busy I stopped thinking

Or maybe I just thought too much

about another person’s touch

that I lost touch

with what was true

when I lost touch, lost touch with you…

And so my thoughts kept moving

and my hands they moved as well

but how the story ended

I’m so ashamed to tell.

I lost touch with where I was

when I said I stopped thinking

yet I kept moving forward

just as fast as I was blinking.

And so thats how I got here

broken glass and broken heart

I think its time I swept this up

and made a brand new start.

- Adjoa Skinner

re-edited on Tuesday April 7th @ 12:30am

with the spirit of Christmas in the air everyone is fair game to strick up conversation with…right?

“You know he’s single” the words reverberated through my brain as I tried not to puke..

I was talking to my sister’s ex-husband (14 years my senior) while picking up my nephew from his family Christmas party. I had not seen him in a good while so we were catching up. He was talking about his surgery I was talking about my career….and that’s when his cousin chimed in with “You know he’s single”…..

We both stepped back from each other quickly revealing the obvious fact that his cousin didn’t catch on, you can’t pick up a chick at your family’s Christmas party…or any family party for that matter.

12/22/08

Finding your Lead

“Find your lead” he said to me as sweat dripped off of his forehead.

“Excuse me?” I said as I thought about what foot I was on.

 “This is so stupid I thought to myself” “This is a dance for white people who clap on 1 and 3”  Why can’t they just choreograph ahead of time & then teach us the routine on our own? Or better yet, lets free style individually, I can twirl and shimmy with the best of them if we do that. Who says that I need some guy to lead me around the dance floor, expecting me to follow him through the slight of his hand?

“Find your lead” he repeated, interrupting my thoughts.

“You need to trust me and lean back into my hand so I can lead you” He said.

“Plus you’ll open up the space between us so I can do more with you”…

It seemed so simple when he put it that way. But my fears had kept me staring at my feet so long I was hardly looking for a leader to take me to a new place…I was just trying to get comfortable in the situation I had been placed in…He already had me with 2 other gentlemen before it was my turn to dance with the instructor. I felt like I suddenly had to prove myself and so I tried to act as if I was free and easy to move, but because I distracted with myself I failed to follow what he was doing…or trying to do with me.

“Keep your arm bent and don’t let your shoulder come in. Keep it forward and ridged and find your balance with the rhythm, stay straight and bob up and down, don’t sway…

“Wow I feel so white right now” I thought to myself…

I felt that if it was rigid it meant it was not beautiful, it was not graceful… it was not what I loved about the freedom of dance.

But as learned to trust him more I realized that the rigidity of the dance when put into context actually wasn’t rigid at all.

It was more so that I actually had to learn to be sensitive to my partner and allow him to lead in the way that was most comfortable for him. And once I was comfortable enough to trust him completely…he would go on to lead some of the most free flowing and beautiful moves that came easy and looked effortless.

It was my first swing dancing class. I learned I had to stop trying to learn by feel and control and instead learn to adjust through trusting the instruction of my leader. So that I would become a partner that was a more suitable counterpart for whatever lead I was placed with. Who knew that a simple dancing class would speak to me so much?

12/22/08

It was FREEZING.

My sister shut the door to my room and none of the heat in the house was allowed in.

I put my hands under the faucet hoping for warm water and the pipes froze so all that I was given was icey cold.

After thanking the Lord for wool socks and layering, I went on a search for any extra blankets in the house and situated myself on the sofa.

My mother who had fallen asleep in the front of the fireplace mid conversation 2am last night woke up a couple of hours later and visited the frozen tundra of a room that we were staying in…..unable to find me she hunted the house for her youngest daughter, finding me wrapped in swaddling clothes on the living room couch.

The next morning we swapped stories of the event while mom’s king snake crept slowly from person to person sucking the heat out of their bodies and eventually pooping all over my mother.

My nephew entered the scene shortly after the snake poop incident with his body head to toe in snow after wading through the 4 foot drifts that graced our backyard.

The day finished up with one final act at 2am….

My childhood friend and I stood in the backyard…staring at the snow.

WHAT WOODPILE she said.

We both scratched our heads wondering what my mom had been smoking when she said there was a woodpile in the backyard.

I knew where she had stored the wood years prior, but the backyard showed no wood to the naked eye.

I jumped around in someone else’s tracks in the hopes that it would lead us to the wood pile…we saw a blue tarp….I thought… “Its gotta be here, where else would it be?”

So I grabbed the shovel and started shoveling out the woodpile.

It emerged several feet of snow later and as we pulled back the layers of blue tarp to find the hidden treasure, we rejoiced at the victory with sore backs and ruff hands.

We took a few handfuls of wood up to the house and put them next to the fireplace. Along the route from the woodpile to the door I thought to myself; “I have nothing to complain about”

“I live a charmed life and I have become lazy and comfortable”

There is something about manual labor that reminds a person how lucky they are.

But there is something about manual labor done in 10 degrees that makes a person look at their life and see not only who there true friends are…but what real work looks & feels like.